We are celebrating Christmas this year on our own.
We made that decision as we were moving here, oddly enough, already panicking at the prospect of coordinating more travel logistics so quickly after arriving here.
Maybe it was the right call, maybe we took the easy way out, avoiding the stresses of travel while sacrificing time with family and friends. We will see.
Selfishly, it has allowed us to approach this holiday with a much calmer, less chaotic energy. There are only the expectations that I’m setting, so if I am getting anxious and panicked and hyper, it really is my own fault. I have my husband and kids alone evaluating my Christmas morning breakfast plans, and time has proven that they have prettttty low expectations. Not sure what that is a reflection of…

If I get consumed by what kind of dips and cheeses and bubbles I have, what scent of candles I have lit when, what table centre pieces I craft up from late night trolling on f€*# ing Pinterest, I really have myself to blame.
But really, that is always the case.
Of course we, especially as women and as moms, are judged, and judge each other. And of course it gets to us at busy times, at scary times, at weak times. But when we’re able to liberate ourselves from this judgement, you realize how much lighter, calmer, and happier you can let yourself feel…
So- I’ve ordered a shit load of food that will be arriving tonight (a few extra bottles of wine and baileys in there for me, and chips in there for the kids), I picked up some wrapping paper last night, and I have new pjs for the gang to wear as many hours of the day on the holidays as we like. We plan on making our way through the usual Christmas movie repertoire, maybe adding a few extras with some more NY flair. We are thinking about joining a Christmas Eve service at nearby Trinity Church, (should probably make sure the kids know what a manger is and who this God guy is first), and I miiiight try to sneak in an extra giant tree sighting or Christmas market,  while chugging hot cocoa (sounds so much more festive) or apple cider, if the gang cooperates. We are intent on ordering in Chinese food for Boxing day. That is the extent of my planning this year. In theory I am delighted. We’ll see how it translates…!

I know we will miss our families immensely. And I am complying with my default response of deny, deny, deny until I absolutely must confront the feeling…It’ll be a season of skyping…

So- our traditions will, for now, be founded on however we interpret the spirit of giving, saying thanks, and enjoying whichever family and friends you are near to. Or far from.

Here’s to rest, reflection, and…rum? (i needed an ‘R’, and it really is such a versatile drink, seasonally-speaking.)