I’ll be honest.
I’m struggling.
Not all day. Not even every day. And in no heroic measure in any way. At all.
I’m supported and loved and respected. Enough for right now, anyway …
But I’m not winning all the time. And I’m learning, sometimes only after I’ve done something regrettable, or made a disappointing judgement, or just plain gotten too stuck in my own head for too long, that I need to be ok with cutting myself some breaks, with picking one thing over everything, with saying yes to help and no to more.

I wrote this to a friend going through some big changes today, and it brought me some peace, reflecting on things from this perspective…

‘Sadly we all know that nothing is certain in life… But what does need to feel as certain as it can is that you will each have each other’s backs in good and bad. And adventures aren’t easy. Sure, there’s the excitement and the inspiring parts. But it is also scary and tiring at times. And knowing that regardless of good or scary, you will be there with each other is what I think matters most …

And the Kids are awesome; they fill me up.’

These little ones this week, growing and learning and crying and screaming…but filling me up each day.

E awake at 10 PM one night to take a poo. And N with her hand on my leg as I was the Mystery Reader in her kindergarten class last week.

Now off to order the Creme de la Mer that exactly everyone here ( ok, maybe 5 New Yorkers in 3 days) uses.
Building the old self-esteem one awkward day at a time.