Monday morning Panic

I don’t think this adjustment is going to necessarily be a linear process. There are some obvious steps that need to happen. But I am expecting that the overall gravity of the change is going to hit me again and again, in different contexts, with different triggers, and with varying degrees of both discomfort and excitement attached.

It’s all good. And this was the right thing for us to do. No question. We’ve been chased out of our cave, and while the bright lights and loud sounds out in this big world are exciting, they are new, unexpected, and a bit overwhelming at times.

My age is also a funny thing for this change. I feel like I have enough life experience ( read: humility) to not be stunned or paralyzed 100% of the time throughout this change. And yet I’m old enough to have some patterns, preferences and protections established. And a change like this inherently disrupts and challenges those safeties. Not bad. Just different.

One ‘involved’ mother at the school yard this morning asked if Nora had any siblings. I explained about Eli and she assumed he was home with… Well, probably a nanny. I said that he was at a preschool/ daycare and she replied with a ‘Oh. Wow. that’s really early to have your child in care.’ Thanks, lady. You should have seen her face when I let her know that BOTH his Dad and I work. Full time. Horror.

In a funny way, that type of an encounter of a moderately annoying, nosy, and judgey Mom (ok, ok, maybe I just need my Monday morning coffee to settle me down a bit. How’s that for irony) helped to normalize things again. There are going to be the amazings here- experiences, adventures, stories, sights… just as there are going to be the completely mundane and normal things.

Figuring out the new balance. Without it being a panic.

Funny times…

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