Mini hurdles

This whole experience has been like a series of hurdles. And that’s not meant to suggest that hurdles in this context are entirely bad. Sometimes they are. Sometimes you bang your shin or your toe and you fall hard. Sometimes the hurdles seem endless and frustrating.
But keeping things in perspective, more often than not the hurdles are expected and laid out in a pretty decent order, easily enough to navigate with focus, precision, and calm. Run, run, jump. Run, run, jump. Go, go, go. We can DO this!
We ARE doing this!
But they’re still hurdles… And maybe some days they truly feel like hurdles ( in the shitty sense), and on better days, or better moments, for that matter, they feel like milestones.

Yesterday we met two big milestones.
Both kids were registered for their new schools, Nora at the public school on our same block, PS89, and Eli at a preschool a 10 minute walk from our place called Bright Horizons.
Again, having not seen either facility or met anyone in person had me very, very anxious.
I knew Brett would have made a good choice, but I had the gross ‘first day of school jitters’ but in an insanely maternal way for the first time…
Upon walking into Nora’s school, I was overcome… Thankfully I held it together in front of the amazingly warm and welcoming principle, but I was on the verge of cracking the entire time…. Overcome with relief. Relief that my kid would be in a safe place. A happy place. A really, really great place!
Neither kid was thrilled during their visits, but since then they’ve each talked excitedly about tomorrow, their first official day….
We’ll see…

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In between

So we’ve been in our new home now for 2 nights, and the kids are tucked in for their 3rd while we prepare to decompress, pour ourselves a drink, and shake our heads yet again at the good fortune we’ve had to arrive our sorry asses here, in Manhattan, with our kids and dog on this amazing adventure.
We ventured north today, walking to the base of the Highline, knowing that we wouldn’t be able to take the dog with us up there, but wanting to test it out to see how far of a jaunt it would be when we returned dog-free eventually. We were again amazed at how dog and kid-friendly our walk was, presenting awesome splash pads, both for the 2-legged and 4-legged variety, shaded tables for people-watching and not-so-shaded views of lady liberty… There goes the head shake again.

We nearly melted though, and within 2 hours needed to retreat back to the air conditioned safety of our apartment, our bodies just not acclimatized for the heat and the humidity.

But back ‘home’, while we know very quickly it will be comfortable, doesn’t really offer the rest we look for after a busy time out in the city. We have 1 proper bed, 1 air mattress, and a bed box for a dining room table. And that’s it. So recharging with a rest at home isn’t really in the cards. It will be. And that will be nice. And I think important once we really get into the pace of what city life promises to challenge us with soon.
But for now, we’ll enjoy the open floor, and space to run, and the time we have to be out and about before the routine kicks in…:)

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The new pad!

Still a sh*t tonne to do to settle in to the new life here obviously, but we’re taking today to celebrate a fairly sizeable milestone in this process and toasting arriving at our apartment finally all in one piece.
Brett actually chose this place on his own on our Hail Mary trip back here, and I’m happy to say that we’re still on speaking terms. He did really well, and I think our gang is going to do ok here:)

Driving down here from our hotel this morning I was frantically looking out the window to try to translate the google map I’ve been obsessively scouring for 3 weeks, trying to imagine exactly where we were and what everything looked like as we approached our new neighbourhood. I then saw the curve in the road that id associated with the ‘top of our street’ on the map, and instantly felt relieved. ‘Oh, thank god it doesn’t suck here! ‘

I’ll take some time to digest things further, but for now I will celebrate 3 trips to bed, bath and beyond and one life altering trip to whole foods with a yuengling.
And here’s my grocery list for anyone setting up in a new place. I am list obsessed.

Garbage bags
Toilet paper
Paper towel
Ground coffee
Coffee filters

Beer
Wine
Milk
Cheese
Bread
Sandwich meat
Mustard
Fruit
Veggies
Yogurt
Cottage cheese
Hot sauce
Pasta
Pasta sauce
Olive oil
Balsamic vinegar

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The stuff you find

It shouldn’t surprise me, but it does, every time.
It’s remarkable what moving homes unearths. In an old suitcase. In an infrequently visited drawer. In last season’s purse.
Last weekend I found a truly remarkable ( with the right intoxicated lenses) souvenir picture from my stagette in Vegas. Perfectly timed with our 8th wedding anniversary.
Tonight I found a ticket stub from an event that we still talk about.
Nora was 3 months old and we bundled her into the Bjorn and headed out to listen to His Holiness the Dali Lama. It was amazing, as you’d expect.
We still talk about the closing advice he gave to new parents. (He’s totally talking to US!)
In his incomparably gentle and knowing voice he suggested that parents set aside the worries about what lessons we ought to teach our children first. What absolutes we needed to expose them to before all others.
He suggested that we think about our biggest responsibility as a new parent- to hug, and cuddle and kiss and hold this new baby as much as we could . To make this our single ‘job’. To do our best, in busy and complicated and difficult days, to really enjoy this. Kids can’t be loved too much, he said .

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The 4Runner is Gone

After some drama and A LOT of people checking her out, the 4Runner is gone today, after an early AM deal.  Sad to see her go.

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I threw in every car cleaning product we own as well… we’re not going to be needing that kind of stuff for a while!

Sh*t is getting real

If signing a relocation agreement, fire-saling a vast majority of your possessions, and putting your house on the rental market didn’t make it feel real, beginning the unspoken, but actual ‘Farewell Dinners’ with friends has certainly made this whole adventure real.

Sure, sure- there are no longer any more real ‘farewells’, but rather ‘until next times’. And that’s ok. And I’m sure that with many of these friends we will evolve our friendship.

It is making ‘real’ the fact that life is about to change for us in a dramatic way. That’s the part that is hitting today.
With a move like this, you tend to get immediately consumed by all of the logistics. You have to be, or it will be infinitely more stressful than it already is. You are absorbed by the sequencing of the shut-down of your current life, and the set-up of your new life, from schools, jobs, homes, dog crates, flights, furniture, and little things called Work Visas.

It is a tornado of details. Of taking blind leaps in one direction, because you simply have no choice but to keep things moving in SOME direction. Only to then have to climb back up the hill, and jump off the other side of the cliff. Numbers. Letters. Applications. Approvals. Submissions. Call-backs. Messages. Confirmations. Keep. Things. Moving.

And then all of a sudden you really are moving in less than 2 weeks.
And you see some of your nearest and dearest friends who’s mind and understanding of the situation lay back 4 weeks ago when they first heard about this change; they are still waiting to hear about where you’re actually going, what you’ll be doing, wondering if everyone is ok with everything. And you’re moving in 2 weeks and have moved well beyond this point.

Queue the scratch of a record.

Changes like this in your life allows you to pause, ironically enough. To reflect on what your friendships have survived- some good, some difficult, some exciting, some terrifying, and some disappointing moments. To reflect on the unwavering support these friendships have provided. True, genuine, loving support. Not always in the most conventional of ways. But true and sincere and well-intentioned support nonetheless.

While I look forward to the new friendships I will make with this move, I am comforted with the strength and encouragement that my special friendships thus far have given me. Enough to make me even consider taking this next leap…

I’ll miss all of these a*&holes. Deeply. But, despite Brett’s groan, I will also have an air mattress available for any lucky visitors…

😉

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